To Wake, or Not to Wake...

Another edition of Notes from C...I had a very restless night, so bless his heart that he was willing to write our blog entry today.

Bug's arrival is fast approaching...we are both getting increasingly restless at night, and the contractions don't seem to stop. They are consistently mild and are approximately 20 minutes apart. Over the past couple of days, they've gotten down to 5 or 4 minutes, however...never more than four contractions at a time and then they will peter off or go away all together.

Anyhow, here's some notes from C

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That is the question, friends/readers/general Internet people. Lately, “S” has been having tremendous difficulties sleeping. I imagine that this is to be expected. She’s basically got a live human inside of her, moving around, being restless, etc. He’s obviously out of room at this point, and is very ready for the outside world. But that’s not quite how it works. Some interesting scientific equation has to happen between “S”’s body and the baby to make this thing happen.

So in the meantime, she struggles to sleep. Countless trips to the bathroom – even more than when he started pushing on her bladder a few months back – and just general discomfort (Editor’s Note: I originally had “uncomfortable-ness” in there….which is absolutely not a word), both contribute rather significantly to this issue. So the question has arisen, and I’ll ask it again: To wake, or not to wake?

I have done my best to support “S” throughout this entire process. I am certain that most (all?) of the readers of this blog are women, so you will all share the same view on pregnancy. Most likely, most of you have either had kids or are experiencing pregnancy right now, just as “S” is. Pregnancy from the man’s perspective is (of course) a completely different experience. My body hasn’t changed; I’m not experiencing any of the physical challenges of all of this. But it’s still expected throughout that I be able to relate to how she feels.

I likely speak for most men when I say that I have trouble relating to my wife’s feelings/emotions even “sans-pregnancy”, but right now, it’s very difficult. The worst part of all of this is that I very badly WANT to be able to relate. Most of the pain and challenges in life that we experience, we are able to share together, and I’m able to empathize with “S”. This is completely different, however, and the best I can do is offer kind words and encouragement, but (I’m sure) they seem relatively hollow since I simply have no idea what “S” is going through.

Back to the title. Lately, “S” and I have had discussions about whether or not it is appropriate for me to wake up in the middle of the night with her when she cannot sleep and needs to go out to watch TV, or walk around, or what have you. The natural reaction is going to be “Of course you should wake up you jerk! Get up and support your wife!” While I am completely expecting this vitriol, I think the question is (at least) a little more complex than that.

Obviously, I am still working, and need to be up in the morning in good time to do so. Also, as “S” has (I believe) detailed somewhat in this blog, I have taken up a tremendous lifestyle change in terms of nutrition, physical activity, etc. This has taken a large toll, and at the end of the day, I am much more tired than I used to be (as to be expected with the increased physical exertion). These aren’t excuses; they are simply mitigating factors that are relevant to this discussion. The only reason I bring them up even, is that “S”, herself, has brought them up in relation to this topic. As guilty as I feel about leaving her on her own while I sleep, she (evidently) feels equally guilty about waking me up, knowing that these other factors are at play.

I have told “S” that if she’s annoyed by the fact that I am sleeping comfortably while she uncomfortably tosses and turns, or is forced out of bed, that she should simply wake me and I’ll spend this time with her. At 4 am, after a few hours of sleep, and knowing that I only have a few possible hours left, I am a less than perfect husband (not that I claim to be a perfect husband at any point in the day), and my brain just does not properly compute that I should be waking up to assist my ailing wife. This is why I’ve said she should simply wake me.

I fully expect, however, that she will not take me up on this, and will continue to miserably trudge around our house on her own in the middle of the night. I feel bad about this – of course I do; but I am not sure how to help correct this issue. This is back to the central theme of my post today, which is that I simply cannot relate to everything she’s going through.

We’ll get through all of this, and the finish line feels insanely close! Every time she has a contraction or a pain, I fully expect we’re heading into “launch sequence” with the inevitable contraction-countdown, from 20 minutes apart, to 15, to 10, and then to 5 minutes apart (ie. GO TIME!), but we’re not quite there yet. What goes around comes around, though, and I think Daddy is going to be spending some long nights and some early mornings with Bug moving forward. Until then, I guess I’ll keep getting my beauty rest until “S” tells me otherwise…..