I've been asking C for a little while now if he would write a blog entry for me to post. Well...he
finally sent me one this
morning while I was out and it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm running around like a mad-woman getting ready for the bridal shower that I'm throwing this weekend (pictures to follow on
Monday...).
Without further
adieu....here are some notes from C...
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I’
ve been asked for a few weeks now to write an entry for The Family
Szem blog. I suppose it seems rather logical that I would be a contributor, given that I am the (soon-to-be) patriarchal member of our version of the
Szems.
What will come as no surprise to a few of you, though, is that this is a task that I have been putting off. Until now, however, it had been largely unclear (even to me) why I had been putting the task off. Typically asking me to share my thoughts or my opinion
doesn’t require too much arm-twisting (OK, it
doesn’t usually require any….). For some reason, though, I have been reticent to put my thoughts down on this particular subject matter.
And then the (rather obvious) reason hit me: What exactly are my thoughts? Truthfully, I don’t have the appropriate means to articulate everything that I am experiencing as we rapidly move towards becoming first-time parents.
Am I excited? Of course I am! And I mean that, too. I can’t imagine you’d find too many soon-to-be parents who would readily tell you that they’re NOT excited about what’s all about to happen – although I suspect that some are simply saying what they think you’re supposed to say. But I can honestly tell you that “excited” is the most apt description for what I’m feeling. Am I nervous and scared? Yeah, but we’ll get to that part of the blog later.
How could I not be excited to be getting to help our son experience, for the first time, all of the amazing things this world has to offer? I cannot wait to share with him many of the things that I remember so vividly from my own childhood!
I still remember my first NHL game, at the old Montreal Forum. While I
couldn’t tell you how old I was at the time, I can tell you that our beloved
Canadiens played to a 2-2 draw with the
Flyers, and my Dad just about caught a puck for me to take home. Looking back now, I imagine that had the puck made it up that extra row to us, any maneuver to catch it would have been primarily in self defense! (Note: From the “Good Parenting Handbook”, my parents were sure to never take me to a Leafs’ game at the old Gardens in Toronto – a practice we will be certain to follow to ensure our son is not subjected to a lifetime of cheering for mediocrity and disappointment)
I remember my first time at the
Skydome, watching a Jays’ game. Walking out of that tunnel and seeing the mass of people (I guess not everything stays the same) and the whole stadium opening up in front of me is an experience I can still picture to this day. The Dome remains a colossal structure, but remembering it as a small child, it might as well have been the size of the whole planet. The last few years, the “Rogers Centre” has simply been where I go to drink overpriced beer and boo the team that consistently disappoints me – but soon it will once again be a place of wonder and amazement. And I can’t wait.
Disney World? Oh, we’re coming.
Hide-and-seek? You’re it!
Giant ball-pits? Cannonball!!!
Road hockey? Game on!
Frankly, these are all things that my friends and I would still do on a regular basis if it was considered socially acceptable for a group of 26-year
olds to bring a case of beer to
Chucky Cheese (somehow I think the local Police might end up involved in that one). But with a son, these things are not only accepted, but encouraged (minus the beer, of course)!
So needless to say, I’m extremely excited to get to share all of these fun things with our son. Does that mean I don’t have any trepidation about being a parent?
Uhm, not exactly! All of the experiences I described above that I shared with my parents helped to shape me to be the (fine, upstanding, handsome, intelligent, verbose, long-winded) person that I am today. That’s kind of daunting. The stuff that we do over the next couple of years is going to have an impact on what kind of person we’re ultimately bringing into the world. So, y’know, we better not mess it up.
And then there’s the “
nitty-gritty” of caring for a baby. Of course, I have no clue what I’ll be doing at bath-time, and when I’m changing diapers (I paid attention at
Pre-Natal Class, but somehow I think the real thing might be a little different). But I’m not “worried” about those things. Despite what “S” might tell you in sharing her fears and nerves about what we’re about to experience, I get to do all of this with – what I can only imagine is –the most prepared new-Mom there’s ever been. If there’s a book to read about babies, she’s read it. If there’s a question to ask the doctor, she’s asked it. She’s even had practice caring for her two best friends’ kids over the last couple years. I’
ve heard it before, and I certainly anticipate that it’s true that “you’re never really READY for what it’ll be like to be a parent”, but I promise you, she’s as close to ready as you’re going to find.
As I’
ve worked to assuage her growing fears in recent weeks, I’
ve assured her of all of these things. So many babies around the world are born into challenging situations (disease, poverty, abuse, to name a few), that I can’t help but feel contentment in knowing the surroundings our son will be born into. We’re fortunate to have an incredible support system of both family and friends, and our son is going to be born with every advantage he could need – including (CORNBALL ALERT!!) the most important one: two loving parents.
The stuff I’m worried about comes later. It comes when our son is out in the world, making decisions for himself about right and wrong, with the countless negative influences that are out there. Naturally, it’s our job as parents to prepare him to make all of these decisions based on a set of values and morals, but raising a child in this day and age is going to be a whole new ball of wax, even from what my parents faced just a few short years ago.
So I guess that’s what I’m thinking! I’m excited, I’m nervous, I’m anxious, and I can’t wait. Really, I think those are all of the things that I’m supposed to be feeling right now. And if not, I don’t really care. This is an incredible time in our lives, and I’m going to enjoy it. My mind is definitely in a few different places: getting ready for a newborn (physically and mentally), while trying balance a new job, a hormonal pregnant wife, and a stable of
under performing Fantasy Baseball teams (so many stresses). But life is great, and it’s only going to get better.
C